I should probably confess my name isn’t really June Cleaver: It’s actually Laura Ann Klein. I always secretly longed to be June Cleaver but about ten years ago I finally admitted it just wasn’t going to happen. I’m only a part-time SAHM; I dislike cooking, I yell at my kids, and I’m queer. Besides all those niggling details, I tend towards bitchy and swear like a sailor. But I refuse to let go of the fantasy and on any given day I might just be vacuuming in my pearls. When I’m not nagging my sons, teasing the dog, avoiding dinner prep or writing; I’m hard at work at my avocation as a nurse. I love my avocation I just hate the industry.
The Girl who has the patience of Job and puts up with me and my sons. She’s extremely talented and smart: n the span of 24 hours she may have cooked a four course meal, changed the oil in the car and re-tiled a bathroom. Meanwhile in the span of that 24 hours I probably could lay claim to eating a bag of Oreos and watched eight episodes of Buffy.
Wally, my oldest son is seeking his way in the world, taking the long way around sometimes but some of us aren’t quick studies. He takes after his mom, poor lad.
Beav is my 16 year old who is prone to taking life way way too seriously. He’s very smart and I’m pretty sure a high flying over achieving couple in another part of town are hanging their heads and wondering what they did wrong because their sixteen year old son is a mediocre student and lazy. If Beav didn’t look like my father I would think he was switched in the NICU.
Ward is the X and Alexis Carrington is his wife. I think her nickname is self explanatory.
Ms. A my one lone “mommy friend”. We met at our church’s Mother’s Morning Out when our eldest sons were toddlers, her youngest son was The Fussiest Baby In The World and Beav was just a sidebar thought. Now her boys are in college and The Fussiest Baby In The World is a charming young man who just began his college career. It’s been a long strange road for all of us.
Oldest Friend (OF) is just that: my oldest friend. We’ve known each other since we were 8 and have shared four marriages, three divorces, four births, four transatlantic moves, a transpacific move and the deaths of our mothers. She’s the most talented writer I’ve ever read and I’m just lucky she is my friend.
Dad is my father and my hero.
M is my stepmother and I’m just so lucky to have mother figure in my life after losing my own mother. M understands this loss and was lucky enough to call my mom “friend” for fifty years.
Fern and Trixie are my favorite co-workers and we share a rowdy sense of fun.
Other folks will show up and I’ll introduce them as I go.
Last but not least: Kipper Q. Dogg, he’s a sweet old dog with an oversized heart, living on borrowed time. The boys swear I love him best. I’ll never tell if this is true or not.